You left me uncolored.
You left me unwanted, until one day,
You came back with lots of crayons
I asked you why you let me suffered in white for so long,
But you hugged me in screaming colors
You make me blue when I haven’t seen you
But you make me wonderful even without cue
I asked you why you painted white when you left
You told me that you prepared me for something red
Now that you’re here holding me with butterflies in my head,
I will try to color myself without your touch and your help
I became wonderful as ever,
Holding myself with rainbows in my hands
I thanked you for bringing all these colors,
Because without you leaving, I’ll remain white dull and full of sorrow.
I wanted to be heard.
Someday, my voice will be heard and everyone will listen to all my stories that keeps on killing me. I will be heard around the world and become an inspirational speaker that could help thousands of youth who are suffering from depression. I will be used to change the world and become a Filipino writer who writes unceasingly. Loving people and serving them would be my honor. I will be heard. And someday, when that day comes, I will still speak. No matter how small my voice can be. No matter how hard it would be. I will succeed.
I used words to cover up everything that’s been bothering me. I used silence to show you how hard to accept everything I thought was true but unluckily it’s not. I used music to ease all the broken memories of you and me. I used our time like tomorrow will never come. I used every little things that could probably longer the conversation. I used my voice to tell you how much you make me feel secured and happy. I used my smile to make you feel like you should’ve not let me go. I used my feet to come running and chase you. I used my eyes, to anything that would make me believe that it’s not a lie. I used all these pain, to create an art. I used every pen I see to write another story, but you hold the ink and I couldn’t see myself turning another pages. You left me hanging into questions and untamed voices inside my head. You left when you’ve said you won’t do a thing to make me leave. But you stay. You rather stay to my surprise. Stay with her. Away from me.
I am tired of the things that keeps on wondering why?
Tired of all the medicines I have to take and fight
Tired of all the people that would help me say hi
I am tired of all the silly answers to all my hows’
But i will never be tired believing the same lies
Lies that keeps me alive and tired
Lies that keeps on telling me that everything will be fine
Lies that in the first place will be formidable
Lies that showed me how forbidden it would look like
Lies that I thought would be my first try
I would lie if I tell you I am not tired
Believing myself that I should wear that fake smile .