Thank you for being a part of what I so called “tragedy”. Thank you for being there enough for me to smile and tell all our favourite stuffs that we only understand. Thank you for lifting up a broken soul out of that line where thoughts of discomfort lies. For all those nights you keep on telling me that life is as good as you can see it. I entered a world where “being myself” is just enough to be accepted by anyone who are willing to join my company. Those childish acts of why we should do a thing or not. You gave me a mirror when all I have was a broken one. I’ll always keep it here, in my heart to see myself again in your eyes. But today, I’ll just remind myself that not everyone who once stay will do it continuosly. Not everyone who told you good stories will remain in your chapters. Not everyone who cares will stay. And I know deep here in my soul, I lost one piece cause I gave one to you and that’s worth a try. I’ll never regret it. Maybe someday when I see you, I would smile, but maybe not, but will I ever see you?
– invisible –
To the girl I always love.
You are the strongest girl I ever know. The greatest gift God could ever give. Your eyes always shine as it look at people’s good heart rather than their stains. You are indescribable and the best sister I never had. You keep on smiling ,laughing and cherishing every little things because you’re a keeper and if someone would hurt you again, my fists are ready. Yes, maybe there are times that you’re crying for the same reasons but your tears will be my greatest weakness. You don’t deserve all those pains, and tho my shoulders are small, you can still lie on them too. You keep on inspiring me always to be a better person and to live the dreams I dreamnt. Thank you for being my great companion, my bestfriend, my buddy, you will always be my bellcricket. And only both of us could understand what does it mean. I love you and happy birthday.
I just keep on strumming until it hurts, until I just stopped. I just loved the way it feels whenever I feel the music out of my chest, it feels like a great comfort and pain in disguise. Reminding myself that these songs I keep on singing will vanish someday, and it will fade into oblivion of nothingness. That everything will be okay, and all those tears of yesterday will be just a random memory of my own myseries. You may be knocked down many times but you can listen. Listen to those people who reminds you how great and awesome you are. Tho sometimes, you will be summoned into memories of betrayal and shame, let the past take care itself. Learn to trust people again and open new doors of hope and friendships, of love and possibilities.
If ever you feel so alone right now, let me tell you this, let’s enjoy the night and listen to ourself, to our own voice that keeps on screaming inside, that keeps on singing our life stories. Listen to yourself and feel free to breath in and out, ohh. That was awesome, yeah like that. You should be happy and dwell into endless dreams of our present situation.
I know you’ve been tired asking yourself if forgiveness will be worth a try. If forgiveness will be better if you just try, but yes, forgive them but never stay again. Stay to those dark moments of should I forgive or forget, should I give a chance or not, but no, believe me, you are worth the risk. No matter how long you will be healed or how many times you forgive, never come back to the place where things get broken and bruised. Never beg for a stare or a chance to make everyone stay. Never let yourself be killed by your own kindness by showing your vulnerable, undecided heart.
You’ve been torn apart, so guard your heart and be at peace. Keep yourself from being inlove with the devil’s smile. Do not keep an eye to an angel face looking at you that was truly a lie. Do not come back and be gone for a while. Learn to forgive yourself because there’s nothing wrong with you. There is nothing worth a third chance in this world. We all mess up but forgiveness is an equivalent equation to freedom, so forgive then begin again.
Begin again and learn from all those years that taught you to be brave, to be forgiving and strong. You’ve been tired, and that’s okay. Stars still shine at day.