Appreciated

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I sharpened my pencil, took a deep breath and smile. Thinking about all those heartbreaking foolish thoughts is a waste of time. I will now stop glorifying pain and start believing that no one can stop me. Not a single person. Not even the person who can’t even see a gold bar while he’s busy picking up stones to bring me down. I fell down seven times and I stand up eight.

“I was a dreamer before you came and let me down”

That was the lyrics that I’ve been singing last time. “White horse” of Taylor Swift is a good song and I can’t help but love the lyrics. Let’s go back to what I was saying. Many times that people crushed me down and dig me into deeper part of my soul until I can’t even breath the same air with them. I always think that people won’t appreciate me. I believe that they could not even look and read every messages I’ve been sending them until one day, someone told me that I did good. Liitle did you know how my heart jumps whenever someone would appreciate something that I really did , not for the purpose of just doing it. I love writing and just because someone rejected me doesn’t mean that I can’t be somebody. After I made every poems, songs and stories for someone, I feel down and low. For he can’t appreciate the beauty of every fabric of my thoughts. I always give a piece of my soul to everything I was reminded of every happy and sad memories, it just popped until I’m lost. Lost for words and untameable to the uncontrollable emotions that defines me as a person. I will keep on dreaming. No matter how toxic people became. No matter how hard to believe in myself. Hey, if you’re reading this, thank you. Thank you for taking one step closer to my soul. Thank you for cheering this unspeakable person inside me who became weak af.
It may be just a simple crap for some but thank you for believing that I can really do it.

In a world where everybody’s been busy looking for answers and satisfaction, I’ll continue being the same guirl who will never be afraid to accept my weak points. I will never be stagnant to where they break me. I will never stay to that place where I see myself damaged. I will walk away and breath. I will never look back and stare, for I am not the same girl who will cry the same tears. But as I walked away, I will always remember who I was. How good I was in loving someone who can’t even love me back. How stupid I was to believe and trust myself that I could still make it happen. How I was blinded to the idea of loving you. I will walk away and smile. Happy, yet broken. But not forever broken.

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