Feeling Strong

Seeing myself from the past 3 years makes me wanna laugh so hard because I really don’t imagine myself being like this. Many things have changed and writing to this piece of paper would be a part. I’ve been reading books and it really brought me to some places I never imagined. Just try to see me and I will probably show you my smile. Being who i am really makes me thank God how great he is for molding and creating me like this. perfection is not my goal in this life and if you’re going to ask me, no, I’m not that beautiful.  Just kidding. Being beautiful requires great confidence that no matter how you look, how curvy , how straight or curly you are, you are totally awesome(suweeg) and I will turn you into ashes if you don’t agree.
I never been so overly confident about this topic because I could say that there are still some insecurities that lies in me. There would be times that I’ll just go to my room and look at the mirror, punch my face and then evaporate. It’s just like that, I really have to accept my flaws the way I accept that life is fair. Believe me, being one of the victims of bullying makes me wanna cry an ocean because it really hurts to reminisce those awful moments. When I was in grade one, my classmates always threatened  me that if I’m not going to give them the answers in our exams they’ll surely give me a hard time outside the school. Giving them the answers is cheating. Guilt is what I feel beyond that situation but after all those years being used by people at an early age, it really makes me stand for what I believe in, to fight for integrity. Now that I am now in College, I can’t really tolerate cheating, because I only understand how it feels like you’re being used and then after that, they won’t need you anymore. That would be the sad part.

Many times in my life that I could clearly remember those faces, using me because it would benefit them. Being mean to me and blaming for mistakes I did not do anyway. That was the hell out of life in my world. But being a new person, I learned to be cruel for me to be kind. People always think that it’s always okay to hurt me because I’m too nice. You heard that right. I am too nice that I chose to do anything they want,  for me to be accepted and loved. But I received nothing. Speaking of receiving, I do receive some love from few people that I considered a human being. They are the best people that inspired me to do good things and have accepted me for who I was before. Needless to say, I am weak and this weakness made me strong and brave enough to win a debate. I could say that these circumstances molded me to be who I am .If you’re reading this right now and you feel bad about yourself, then you better jump and shout because that was a lie. You are beautiful and strong enough to mend a broken life. Start with yours.

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